The acai berry craze has completely taken over to the point that it is out of control. If you’ve checked your spam box lately, you’ve probably seen advertisements, including free trials of acai berry extract. For the people who have already tried acai berry products (and future customers), here are some signs indicating that you are way too addicted to acai berries:
1. You google the phrase “how to inject acai berries.”
2. You spend your time learning Portuguese to negotiate with the Brazilians for better prices on acai.
3. You switch your college major to horticulture for an excuse to study abroad in the Amazon and eat acai berries all day.
4. You get busted by the cops for having an acai berry grow house.
5. You do lose weight from acai berries, but not from the berries itself, but from carrying numerous cases of acai berry juice that you order each month.
6. You flip out on people who pronounce the word “acai” improperly.
7. You get busted off the coast of South America with cocaine and illegally imported acai, but only toss the cocaine when the coast guard arrives.
8. You belong to a “Save the Acai” organization, despite any chance of acai running out.
9. While your house is burning down, you make a run past the fire department and police to save your free trial bottles of acai.
10. At a house party, you suggest placing acai capsules in the beer bong.
11. When given the choice of world peace or unlimited acai, you hesitate for a second….and then take the acai.
12. You have a prenuptial agreement specifically precluding your wife from taking any acai obtained before and during the marriage.
13. You get pissed off when there are storms in the Amazon due to their effect on annual acai berry yields.
14. You ask to have your AIG bonus paid in acai berries.